does giving birth make someone a mother?

I am meeting my birth mother today, I can't believe that it is here. It was just a week ago that I received a call from my brother Alex bluntly letting me now that the women that gave birth to me and that I have not seen in twenty years was coming here to Utah. Well the very first call came from Michelle Alex's wife, she said casually, hey Tina is coming to town in about a week and I didn't know if you wanted to see her or not and where you would want to meet? It took a minute for my mind to process what she just said, I couldn't believe what I had just heard and who I had heard it from. I was pretty upset at my brother for not asking me if it was ok for him to invite our birth mother here, I know that I do not own Utah but I do live here and it would of been nice to have some sort of say in the matter. I know that I want to meet her but I at least wanted that on my terms and for it to be my decision of when not someone else's. I just still can't believe that he did not talk with me first.

I have so many thoughts and emotions running through my mind and body that it is difficult to make sense of them. I guess I am anxious, stressed and angry at the moment. It all still feels surreal to me, my heart is pounding and I keep cry for no reason. I don't know why I am so upset I guess I am angry at Tina for not being there all these years. I am angry for not looking like my parents that raised me. I am angry for all the times that that I went to the doctor for check up and having babies and couldn't answer any question about my family and health background. I am angry because it was always hard to feel loved when your own mother choice drugs over you. I am angry for not having that bond with someone all through my adolescent years. I am angry for not being able to say, I must get that or this from my mother or that's why I do things this way, but mostly I am terrified that I even care about these things. I always seemed to suppress these feeling so well, but now they are all being forced out of me without my consent. How do you deal with something like this, Is there an easy fix? I guess not.